Say my name, say my name.

How did our mothers always know when something was wrong? How did they always know what to do when that cute boy we had been crushing on for a solid year had broken our hearts? This knack of knowing extends beyond being a mother, the female posses an instinct unlike that of the male (sorry guys)– ‘the gut feeling’ some would call it, others prefer to describe it as somewhat of a radar, but mostly the phenomena is known as a woman’s intuition. 

Where am I going with this huge epiphany of women having the ability to detect an off beam? Unfortunately or fortunately this isn’t a ‘let’s cut the story short’ type entry, so in saying that I must draw upon a good friends experience. This said friend called me in tears one night, sobbing uncontrollably, with what i believe was Bridgett Jones Diary playing in the background – the guy she had been seeing for three months (granted it wasn’t a lifetime but she had finally connected with someone in what seemed like forever, I can vouch for that) had just pulled the whole ‘I think it’s better we don’t see each other anymore, I’ve been seeing this other girl, and well, she is better, you loose!’ well to be honest he probably didn’t use those exact words, but I’m just recounting the story as it was told to me. 

Despite all the hyperboles which come with the story – the main point is he was indeed seeing another girl, they had passed the awkward ‘are we dating?’ hump and had started doing the whole dinner at mine, dinner at yours thing– in other words couple territory had been entered.Here comes my major point (and I do have one), with a woman’s overpowering ability to know that something is not right, with our besty, our work colleague, our siblings, our parents, our pet canary even our basilico plant for god’s sake! HOW does the almighty radar miss the fact that something is not right, something is QUITE wrong with the guy we are slowly but surely falling for?*

Sure at times the guy ends up being the worlds most sought after con artist, in which case we will excuse the fact that the gut feeling didn’t realise he was two timing you ( however all the costume changes and wigs he owned could have been a trigger for alarm bells) , but seriously why does this intuition all of a sudden take a vacation when it comes to matters of the heart – and most specifically men?


If some of the brightest, most successful women I know can’t manage to dodge this bullet, are we just destined to have Pam Anderson Tommy Leesque relationships until our dying day? I mean i’m in no way calling shenanigans on our beloved instinct, I believe a women just KNOWS ( but turns a blind eye) when something's happening, in fact Destiny’s Child wrote a chart record hit about it, when they sang, “you actin' kinda shady Ain't callin me baby better say my name” 
So here is the moment I call out to all those womanly instincts, which have served us so well up until now. So when that stabbing pain in your gut (consult your health care practitioner if pain persists) kicks in, make sure you don’t get caught up in the game and take off your rose-tinted glasses. Confront the instinct because chances are if you don’t you may (in fact you most definitely will) end up with a tub of ice cream, re-runs of sex and the city and endless amounts of used Kleenex at your pity party.

* disclaimer – I have been part of this terrible trap of not listening to that instinct let's just give it the respect it deserves.


- Agatha