Distance makes the heart grow fonder?

Moving over to the other side of the world has made me think about the age old saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder”, but how much distance and time does the heart need until it feels the reverse effect of fondness? In fact dread, burdening and hostility becomes you.

How much distance is there required for the heart to pine? And at what point does the distance become a hindrance? In my experience a 3 week “I’m exploring the world” vacation away from your one and only, makes for peaks of passion, but when we are talking about LDR’s that is long distance relationships, how long is too long?

I started to enquire within and it seems that most if not all people I have spoken to which are trying to ‘make it work’ across the borders find many a fault to the relationship alla distancia.

The obvious lack of physical contact is not the only barrier that need be broken, time differences, season changes (and the advent of skimpier clothes for some), the jealousy and trust issues emerge, and most importantly, as much as you are part of their world, you are not. It seems that all these things cause for relationships to strain and paranoia to kick in. How do you battle through it? How do you make it feel relatively spontaneous, when skype dates are scheduled, plane tickets are bought months in advanced and holidays are planned like that of a surgical procedure. How does distance make the heart grow fonder?

I draw on my own experience here, having had the option between entering an LDR or calling it quits and salvaging the friendship, the logical solution to me instead of ‘seeing how it goes’ was the somewhat difficult yet most sensible solution of ending the relationship. Good memories remain, respect for the person is held and you value what you had together, as opposed to growing into a loathing Oceania schedule when you are clearly living in Europe. Of course circumstance always plays a part in decisions and in this case certain circumstances made it logical to avoid the LDR at all costs.

In my opinion distance can make the heart grow fonder to a certain extent, when you know that there is an end in sight, when there is a reunion somewhat around the corner and when you trust that a 3 week vacation isn’t code for ‘I am now single and will be incommunicado for the next few weeks.’

For me the dodging of an LDR and what I believe would have ended up in the reverse of fondness has been a blessing, the opportunities to connect with other people and avoid all the jealousy games and 21 questions of Who? What? Where? Why? And When? Has lead to peace of mind, an ex who I don’t loathe and a genuine experience in the here and now.

- Agi