Cat & Mouse

A Friend told me the other day that most, if not all, of relationships are built on inequality. This structural flaw is inevitable, Friend claimed, because one half is always more emotionally invested in the romantic partnership. One person is always the cat, and the other the mouse. Not to insinuate that the Mouse ends up as the Cat’s lunch. No. Rather, that one person is always the chaser, and the other constantly needs to be caught.

At first, this notion of love as an unequal minefield had me in a state of depression. I want my match made in Heaven, dammit, and I plan to find it! You’ve got it all wrong, I proclaimed.

Only in the most incompatible partnerships is this morbid concept brought to fruition. Only when two people are wrong for each other is this cruel game of Cat & Mouse played out…or so I thought.

It got me thinking; in love, is there always one person who loves the other more? So I started to analyze the relationships around me; was one half of every couple just along for the ride, while the other drove their love-mobile into the sunset? (With the exception of long-time married couples) - I found my hypothesis to ring 100% true! *Dun Dun Dunnnn*

And it seems this is no secret; popular culture has been making reference to it for years. ‘The one who cares the least carries the power in the relationship’ or ‘In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.’

To quote HIMYM ‘one half of a relationship is The Reacher, while the other is The Settler’’ (let’s not kid ourselves, Lily is *totally* The Reacher). Or Will & Grace; one person is The Gardner, while the other is The Rose. In this analogy, The Gardner tends to The Rose so it may blossom and prosper, all the while The Gardner gets RSI from the watering can!

You get the picture.

So if you’re like me, and waiting for that perfect date, that equal partnership, it seems we should stop being so ignorant. Look around and smell the roses… or your watering can. Because it’s time to decide, are you a Cat or Mouse? Reacher or Settler?

Catch me if you can – Rhea